Your Inner Critic

Mar 11

Hola my Bright Familia,

Let me keep it real with you, my inner critic gets the best of me more often than I’d like to admit. Sometimes, it feels debilitating, like it’s holding me back from showing up as my best self. You know that little voice in your head? The one that’s always quick to point out what you could be doing better? Yeah, that’s your inner critic. And guess what? That part of you needs more love. Seriously, send yourself more love right now.

As a coach, I’m constantly reminded that we all go through this. It doesn’t matter where you are on your journey; that inner voice finds its way in. When I’m working with clients, I often play the role of the soundboard that helps them snap out of this negative cycle. We pull some sense and motivation back into the picture so they can see clearly and move forward. And guess what? You can do this too.

Why Your Inner Critic Shows Up

Your inner critic tends to make an appearance when you're feeling vulnerable or stressed, or when you’re trying to level up in life. It's the voice that pops up when you're working toward losing weight, juggling too many responsibilities, or scrolling through social media comparing yourself to someone else's highlight reel. It’s like your inner critic is always waiting to pop up, ready to remind you that you’re not quite “enough.”

But here’s the thing: that inner critic? It’s not here to ruin your life (even though it can feel that way). In reality, it’s trying to protect you. It’s scared; scared of failure, scared of the unknown, and scared of not measuring up. It doesn’t know any better, so it starts picking you apart to keep you from stepping too far out of your comfort zone. The problem is, criticism doesn’t help you grow; it just keeps you stuck.

How Your Inner Critic Sneaks In

You’ve probably noticed your inner critic in different ways, like:

Comparing yourself to others: Maybe you're scrolling through Instagram and feeling like you're falling behind because someone else seems to have it all figured out.
Struggling with weight loss: Instead of celebrating those small wins, you’re hyper-focused on how far you still have to go or beating yourself up for not being "perfect."
Taking on too much: When you're feeling overwhelmed, your inner critic tells you that you should be handling it all effortlessly. You might start feeling like you're failing because you can’t do it all.

Check-in Time: How to Keep Yourself Grounded

One of the key things I work on with my clients is the importance of checking in with yourself regularly. This is how you keep yourself grounded and stop the negative self-talk before it spirals out of control. Here’s what I recommend:

Pause and feel it: When you notice that critical voice getting louder, stop and ask yourself, “What’s really going on here?” Most of the time, it’s stress or fear driving that negativity. Simply recognizing this can make a huge difference.
Talk to yourself like a friend: Imagine your friend is going through the same thing—what would you say to them? You wouldn’t tell them they’re not good enough, so why do it to yourself? Be gentle.
Celebrate small wins: I tell my clients this all the time—every little win matters. Whether it's getting through a tough day, drinking more water, or taking a walk, give yourself credit where it’s due.
Learn to say no: If you’re overwhelmed, it’s probably because you’re taking on too much. Setting boundaries doesn’t make you weak—it’s a form of self-care. It’s okay to take a step back and breathe.

Tips for Turning Down the Volume on Your Inner Critic

Look, self-love doesn’t happen overnight. But step by step, you can start turning down the volume on that inner critic and turn up the love you show yourself. Here’s how:

Replace negative talk with affirmations: When you catch yourself being overly critical, stop and swap that thought for something positive. Try saying, “I’m doing my best,” “I am enough,” or “I trust myself.” Trust me, this shift in mindset is powerful.
Limit comparison: Social media is one of the biggest traps for comparison. Keep in mind that you're seeing everyone else’s best moments, not the full picture. Remind yourself that your journey is uniquely yours.
Focus on progress, not perfection: I always tell my clients that growth happens in the little moments, not in reaching some arbitrary goal of perfection. It’s the progress that counts.
Journal it out: Writing down your thoughts is a great way to track your inner critic’s patterns. Once you see it on paper, it becomes easier to recognize when that voice is getting out of hand.
Show Yourself More Love, Every Day

Your inner critic might always be there, but that doesn’t mean it has to run the show. Little by little, as you practice showing yourself love and compassion, that voice will quiet down. Remember, whether you’re trying to lose weight, manage stress, or just navigate life, you are worthy of love and grace, especially from yourself.

The next time your inner critic pipes up, take a moment to breathe, check-in, and give yourself the love you deserve. You’ve got this, and you are more than enough.

With love and light,

Deslie