Positive Attitude vs. Happiness: Embracing Life's Full Spectrum

Jan 30

Hola Familia,

This year didn’t exactly start the way I planned. No motivation, no inspiration, and honestly… a whole lot of heaviness.

My kids has been sick on and off, and I’ve been under the weather too. And let’s not even start on all the inequitable things happening around the world and in our very own country. It’s been a lot. It feels like the weight of it all is just too much. You know that feeling where you’re stuck, unable to move forward? That’s where I am.

But after sitting with it, after letting myself feel all of it, I realized something important: I had to pull myself out. I couldn’t stay there. I have to remain positive.

But how do you remain positive with such a heavy heart or with the lack of motivation?
Let’s be real for a second. The constant pursuit of happiness as an unwavering goal can leave us feeling like failures when life brings us inevitable challenges. So, what if life’s purpose is also about embracing all of its seasons with grace, resilience, and a positive attitude while still allowing us space to feel hurt, grief, pain and suffering?

Life Gives Us the Whole Spectrum

Life is here to make sure we feel it all. Joy, frustration, sadness, excitement, boredom, anger, you name it. And those emotions? They all have a purpose. The happiest moments hit harder because we’ve also felt heartbreak. The tough times? They shape us into stronger, more empathetic people.

Remember the last time you went through something really hard? Maybe you lost someone you cared about, or something didn’t go the way you planned. It sucked, right? But these moments should teach us to appreciate the little things more or help us figure out another way. That’s life doing its thing, balancing the challenges with the wins.

Positive Attitude ≠ Fake Smiles

Let’s get one thing straight; having a positive attitude isn’t about slapping on a fake smile and pretending everything’s fine. That’s not healthy, and honestly, it’s exhausting. A positive attitude is about choosing not to let the bad stuff keep you stuck. It’s about saying, “Yeah, this situation is awful, but I’m not going to let it define me.”

While its natural to feel fear, frustration, or sadness; a positive attitude helps you acknowledge those emotions without letting it consume you. Instead of spiraling into despair, you can ask yourself what you can learn from this? How can you use this challenge to grow?

But Wait… Toxic Positivity Is a Thing

On the flip side, let’s not overdo it. Being overly positive all the time can backfire. Sometimes life sucks, and it’s okay to admit that. Pretending everything is fine doesn’t make the hard stuff go away; it just buries it until it eventually explodes.
When you are going through challenges, allow yourself to feel those hard emotions: grief, anger, disappointment. These emotions are just as valid as joy and excitement. The key is building resilience to process these emotions and still find the light at the end of the tunnel.

optimism Grounded in REality

Optimism is most powerful when is rooted in reality. Acknowledge the challenges for what they are and reflect on your capacity to navigate them. Recognize that the difficulty of the situation doesn’t mean you need to give up. It means you are preparing yourself to rise above it!

How can you start to cultivate a positive attitude grounded in reality?

Here are some ideas:

Feel Your Feels: First, give yourself permission to feel everything; the good, the bad, and the ugly. Name your emotions, sit with them, and let them pass.
Shift Your Perspective: When you’re ready, ask yourself, “What can I learn from this?” or “What’s one small thing I can do to move forward?” It doesn’t always have to be something big, sometimes a walk around the block helps.
Focus on the Good: Even on the crappiest days, find one thing to be grateful for. It could be as small as a good cup of coffee or a text from a friend.
Take Tiny Steps: Overwhelmed? Start small. Small wins add up and give you the confidence to tackle bigger stuff.
Read or Listen for Inspiration:
- Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl is a game-changer when it comes to finding purpose in struggle.
- The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown is all about embracing vulnerability and finding strength.

Let’s Make It Happen

Here’s your “aha” moment: You don’t have to be happy all the time to have a positive attitude. Life is about showing up, no matter what’s going on. When you let yourself feel all the feels, while also choosing optimism, you’re unstoppable. You become the kind of person who can handle life’s chaos with grace and keep moving forward.

So, here’s my challenge to you: Think of one hard thing you’re dealing with right now. Name how it’s making you feel, sit with it for a moment, and then decide what one small thing you can do today to move forward. If it feels like it’s something out of your control, or too big to tackle, give yourself some grace and be companionate with yourself.

When we drown in our emotions, we close off our ability to be creative. But when we stay positive and optimistic, we allow ourselves to see possibilities, think outside the box, and take action. Optimism keeps our minds open to solutions, whether its finding a small way to improve our own wellbeing or creating meaningful change that impacts others. When we choose a positive outlook, we empower ourselves to move forward, grow, learn, and make a difference, no matter how big or small.

Let’s keep showing up for life and for yourself, together. Drop a comment or send me a message and let me know how you’re feeling today. We’re in this together, one step at a time.

With love and optimism,

Deslie